My new girlfriend and I had sex for the first time this weekend.
Most of my blogs over the years have been written for people who are already sexually active and have experience with pivi penis-in-vagina intercourse.
I hope guys will read this as well—virgins or not. Losing your virginity is not a topic that most of us bandy around in casual conversation. I heartily recommend that your first sexual partner be someone who is gentle and kind, with a good sense of humor.
Take it from me: Couples who do it sober have a happier and safer experience! Losing your virginity with your sweetheart and soulmate would be a lovely option, but most of us no-longer-virgins are not even in touch with the person we did it with for the first time. One of the keys to having wonderful sex is knowing your own body. Regular readers may have read comments recently from older women who are enjoying sex more and more the older they become.
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One reader celebrates post-menopause as a time when she knows her body well enough to say yea or nay in ways that her lover can truly understand. Another writes about discovering new delights about her body as she ages. Whatever your age, consider yourself at the start of a fascinating journey! If you masturbate, you have an advantage in this department.
First, wash your hands, then moisten your fingers. Relax, breathe, and allow yourself to spend at least 10 minutes exploring up and down your body. Next, get your finger extremely wet saliva works fine so you can venture inside. Some women may want to explore more deeply, while others might feel quite nervous and hesitant.
Congratulate yourself for taking this important step and consider venturing a bit farther the next time. Remember to breathe, and continue to ask yourself what your vagina is feeling and experiencing. You might want to consider adding a second finger, especially if you anticipate pivi. I highly recommend a wonderful book by my colleague Lonnie Barbach, called For Yourselfabout masturbation.
Millions of lesbians will attest that there are numerous ways that you and a partner can enjoy one another sexually without a penis going into your vagina! All rights reserved. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. Well that was a lot more to that article than I thought that there was going to be!
When I actually lost my virginity I knew nothing about that, I was just concerned at that point about keeping my boyfriend around. It makes me sad but I think that a lot of women of my generation probably lost their bvirginity for the same reasons, not because they were really ready but because it just felt like the right time and they were just ready to get it over with.
If I had known more then I would have waited a lot longer and would have honestly been able to give more instruction about what felt better to me. I was Kept waiting for feelings of attraction, lust, desire, interest, anything, to bubble up. They never did. So I finally just picked a guy at work; a few week later it was over.
Why so late? Your guess is as good as mine. No one ever showed any interest. Im 18, and a virgin although ive had plenty of opportunities with guys through out my teen years. I was and still am holding off waiting for a guy that i fall in love with i look at my virginity like its a special part of me that should be appreciated but im scared to have sex i have no idea why. Im in love with this guy that ive never met in person before but we are from the same town we have been pen palls for over 5 years.
We are meeting for the first time this october which is a month away. I just turned twenty on the 5th on July I am so nervous, anxious and excited about my first kiss and losing my virginity. I think the most important thing I can suggest is that you let go attachment to outcome!! Hi Jill, its Val again.
I lost my virginity and had my first kiss on Thursday I was nervous but in the moment it felt so right. I wanted to thank you for writing this blog post so I felt like I had a safe place to address my concerns. Hi Jill, I am about to turn 20, and I have never felt so ready to lose my virginity. I always felt it was just something far away.
Women and virginity: preparing for the first time
But I am no where close to being deeply in love or in any committed relationship. This idea popped into my mind and I cant stop pondering this. Let me know what you think.
Am I delusional, would I regret this, or would going with my heart be a smart decision? Now Kate…. Sex often brings lots of complicated feelings and it often changes the form of relationships. I hope other blog readers will add their thoughts.
I left instructions on Aug. Kate: Only you know your relationship with your friend, but I can tell you that my experience was great with a casual guy friend! I deeply cared for my friend, and he for me, but there were no expectations.
Does your friend know you are a virgin?
If not, I want to urge you to tell your friend and to be completely honest about your level of experience… but that would make me a hypocrite. He understood why I kept it secret and was not hurt by my lie, but I still feel strongly especially moving forward in my intimate relationships that such dishonesty is no basis for any type of romance, even a fling.
My first time was not painful because I had been fairly adventurous by myself : It makes the experience a whole lot easier. So just stay in constant communication about whether you or he intend to continue a friends-with-benefits situation, or have it just be a one-time event to get the actual virginity-taking over with, or what.
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Hi Jill, My name is Danielle and I am 15 years old. I need advice.
I do masturbate but I have never reached an orgasm. Is that normal? How can I reach that peak? Meeting my boyfriend in person for the first time in our 6, nearly 7 years together. Worst advice ever!!!!! The question is how to prepare for sex with your partner….
Not prepare for sex with your self… Fingering your self is sex.
I am 22 and a virgin. I will have sex the first time on my wedding night. We have been together 6 years… It is very much possible to save your self if your not ready.
Regardless when you have sex just makes sure your ready and it with someone worth wild. Because once you have sex you can never get a do over for your first time. Which do boys like more? I really need help with this. Worrying about what guys might like will keep you nervous and focused on them. It is a sexual orgin inserted into an orafice. A hole.
Whether its your mouth butt of ear. Its technically sex.
I do not know how to help her. Please assist!